In the Company of the Elders: Reflections on Life, Death, and Du’a

ONE OF THE blessings of visiting Bangladesh is the opportunity to reconnect with family, especially the elders.

While many of my relatives have moved abroad, a few still live in Dhaka, and a few remain in our village homes. This trip was long overdue. It had been seven years since I last saw the relatives in the city, and fifteen since I had visited those in the village.

As I get older, these reunions carry a heavier weight. There’s an unsaid awareness now: “We may not see each other again.”

Since my last visit, several of my family members have returned to Allah ﷻ. A reminder that:

كُلُّ نَفْسٍۢ ذَآئِقَةُ ٱلْمَوْتِ ۖ ثُمَّ إِلَيْنَا تُرْجَعُونَ

Every soul will taste death. Then to Us will you be returned. (al Ankabut 57)

Their absence is felt deeply, especially in the silences between conversations or when someone references them in the past tense. It’s a stark reminder of the temporary nature of this world. Allah ﷻ reminds us again and again:

وَمَا هَـٰذِهِ ٱلْحَيَوٰةُ ٱلدُّنْيَآ إِلَّا لَهْوٌۭ وَلَعِبٌۭ ۚ وَإِنَّ ٱلدَّارَ ٱلْـَٔاخِرَةَ لَهِىَ ٱلْحَيَوَانُ ۚ لَوْ كَانُوا۟ يَعْلَمُونَ

What is the life of this world but amusement and play? But indeed, the home of the Hereafter—that is the real life, if only they knew. (al-Ankabut 64)

Reminders from Our Elders

Now, most conversations with those who remain revolve around health, those who’ve passed, and the inevitability of meeting Allah. There’s frequent mention of du’a, of preparing for the akhirah, and of how quickly time has passed.

They speak of how fast the children have grown, the deeds done well, and the regrets over things left undone. These aren’t just casual conversations; they’re reminders of what Allah has told us:

يَوْمَ لَا يَنفَعُ مَالٌۭ وَلَا بَنُونَ
إِلَّا مَنْ أَتَى ٱللَّهَ بِقَلْبٍۢ سَلِيمٍۢ

The Day when neither wealth nor sons will avail, but only he (will prosper) who comes to Allah with a sound heart. (ash-Shuara 88–89)

What I once saw as mundane or repetitive now feels like wisdom passed down, a subtle nudge from Allah through the voices of those closest to us.

The Village Visit

We had a lot planned for our village visit. But due to poor health, we were delayed. To stick to the plan, we thought we would make the visits to our relatives short. But who were we kidding?

Village hospitality is overwhelming. It was the kind of welcome that only those who truly love you can give.

You don’t leave until you’ve sat, shared a full meal, laughed, and caught up.

On the way back, I mentioned to our driver that we hadn’t completed our plans due to these extended visits. He smiled and said something profound:

“You can’t leave early. The people who love you won’t let you. Better to enjoy their company now, because next time, they might not be here. Then no one will know you, and you can come and go as you please.”

His words hit hard because they were filled with simple truth.

Growing Awareness of Time

With each passing year, I feel a deeper awareness of my own mortality. These visits are no longer just about tradition; they’re about reflection and preparation.

The Prophet ﷺ reminded us: “Take advantage of five before five: your youth before your old age, your health before your sickness, your wealth before your poverty, your free time before your preoccupation, and your life before your death.” (Bayhaqī) 

A Final Du’a

May Allah accept the du’as of all our elders.
May He allow them to return to Him in a state of iman, surrounded by His rahmah and rida. May He soften our hearts, increase us in gratitude, and allow us to make the most of the fleeting time we’ve been gifted.

رَبَّنَا لَا تُزِغْ قُلُوبَنَا بَعْدَ إِذْ هَدَيْتَنَا وَهَبْ لَنَا مِن لَّدُنكَ رَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّكَ أَنتَ ٱلْوَهَّابُ

O Allah, do not let our hearts deviate after You have guided us, and grant us mercy from Yourself. Indeed, You are the Bestower. (ale Imran 8)

Ameen