SUMMER CAN BE a challenging time for Muslims living in the West. As the temperature goes up, the clothes come off.
Five things that we can do to protect ourselves.
1. Lower the gaze
قُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا۟ مِنْ أَبْصَـٰرِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا۟ فُرُوجَهُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَزْكَىٰ لَهُمْ ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ خَبِيرٌۢ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ
‘Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and protect their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is All-Aware of what they do.’ (an-Nur 30)
A teacher of mine once noted a difference between men and women: that men enjoy looking, while women enjoy being looked at.
Allah advises men to lower their gaze in this ayah and instructs women to do the same, while also asking them to conceal their beauty in the next ayah.
The eyes are the gateway to our desires. This ayah links what we see with our desires. Sight agitates the desires which then need to be satisfied. Avoiding the sight by lowering the gaze therefore doesn’t lead to agitation in the first place. Lowering the gaze doesn’t mean turning away but rather not focusing directly, just keeping things in the side view.
2. Remember Allah is watching you
Taqwa comes after that. It stops the second look.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: Do not follow one glance at a woman with another. Verily, you are excused for the first one but not for the second.” (Tirmidhī)
Taqwa stops the second look and stops it develop into something bigger. It calms the agitation. It makes you take steps to try and minimise exposure to such situations as much as possible.
يَعْلَمُ خَآئِنَةَ ٱلْأَعْيُنِ وَمَا تُخْفِى ٱلصُّدُورُ
‘He knows that which deceives the eyes and what the breasts conceal.’ (Ghafir 19)
3. Surround yourself with good people
A positive step is to surround yourself with good people. Good company deters evil and reminds you to do good.
Al-Fadl ibn `Abbas, the Prophet’s ﷺ cousin once rode with him. He ﷺ noticed him staring at a beautiful woman from the tribe of Khat’am who had come to ask questions about Hajj. He ﷺ grabbed Fadl by the chin and turned his head away, so saving Fadl.
4. Ask Allah for help
It is not easy. The Prophet ﷺ said: “I have not left a trial after me more harmful to men than women.” (Bukhārī)
So the temptation is always there especially as we face an unprecedented assault on our senses in a society obsessed with sex.
In the story of Yusuf (as) Allah mentions how even he would have inclined towards his mistress had it not been for a Divine sign.
وَلَقَدْ هَمَّتْ بِهِۦ ۖ وَهَمَّ بِهَا لَوْلَآ أَن رَّءَا بُرْهَـٰنَ رَبِّهِۦ ۚ كَذَٰلِكَ لِنَصْرِفَ عَنْهُ ٱلسُّوٓءَ وَٱلْفَحْشَآءَ ۚ إِنَّهُۥ مِنْ عِبَادِنَا ٱلْمُخْلَصِينَ
And she certainly determined (to seduce) him, and he would have inclined to her had he not seen the proof (i.e., sign) of his Lord. And thus (it was) that We should avert from him evil and immorality. Indeed, he was of Our chosen servants. (Yusuf 24)
So we need constant help to save ourselves from this fitna.
The Prophet ﷺ taught us to make du’a such as:
اللَّهُمَّ اقْسِمْ لَنَا مِنْ خَشْيَتِكَ مَا يَحُولُ بَيْنَنَا وَبَيْنَ مَعَاصِيكَ
‘O Allah, apportion to us such fear as should serve as a barrier between us and acts of disobedience…’ (Tirmidhi)
5. Get married if you can or fast if you cannot
The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty, and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his desires.’ (Bukhari)
So for those who are unmarried, then take a considered approach to the rights of responsibilities of marriage and try to marry early. Marriage remains the most natural outlet to satisfy this instinct.
For those who cannot marry, then fasting is recommended. Whilst in a state of fasting we have more taqwa and this makes us more aware of what we look at and our desires.
More than self-control
Our deen aims not only to protect individuals but also to improve society so that everyone is cared for. The Islamic worldview is built on and seeks to establish truth and justice.
What we see in the West however is the opposite.
This society grooms women to believe that in the name of such false ideas as equality, freedom and individualism, being in a state of undress is a good thing. Yet who does that benefit? The male gaze and those who make money from the commodification and objectification of women.
At the same time, society constantly agitates the desires through images, speech, media and culture. This has created an increasingly dysfunctional society. Women and girls are harassed verbally and physically daily across every strata of society- from primary school to the Houses of Parliament, on the streets and on the internet. Nowhere is safe. The tranquillity to be found in marriage is a dream and family life is broken.
فَمَنِ ٱتَّبَعَ هُدَاىَ فَلَا يَضِلُّ وَلَا يَشْقَىٰ
وَمَنْ أَعْرَضَ عَن ذِكْرِى فَإِنَّ لَهُۥ مَعِيشَةًۭ ضَنكًۭا
‘…then whoever follows My guidance will neither go astray nor suffer. But whosoever turns away from My Reminder, indeed, for him is a life of hardship…’ (Taha 123-124)
Islam addresses the issue at its root. It doesn’t just talk about women’s rights. It sets out a comprehensive and complementary set of values, rules and punishments that take sexuality out of public life and place it in the privacy of marriage. In doing so it creates a public life where men and women can cooperate for the betterment of society and a private life in which men and women can find comfort, love and mercy.
Living For Islam 